Pitch Your Club

[Pyfish+]

Picture a room full of neutrals; people who for one reason or another do not have an affiliation with a football club. It is now your task to put forward a pitch for why these people should support your team.

Had a very similar question to this on an exam paper when I was younger...

Show your workings. [25 marks]

[Spike]

Oil club that used to have very charismatic players.

[Azeem]

No tickets required to watch the games ! First come first served

[Stan]

Never dull. 

2007/8 - get relegated to 3rd tier for first time ever.
2008/9 - win League 1 at a canter - several records broken - most points in a season, most league wins, only 4 defeats 
2009/10 - 5th in play-offs. Lose on penalty shootout against Cardiff after Kermogant tries and fails with a panenka.
2010/11 - Sousa appointed. Sousa sacked after 3 months. Sven-Goran Eriksson hired. New owners come in.
2011/12 - Nigel Pearson re-appointed. 
2012/13 - 2nd in league by Feb. Win only 3 of next 17 games, one of those being on final day vs Nottm Forest - last-minute winner by Knockaert to send us in to play-offs. Lose in play-offs vs Watford after Knockaert misses a penalty and Deeney scored. One of EFL's greatest ever moments.
2013/14 - Absolutely stroll the Championship and end up title-winners, breaking several records in process - Most points, most league wins in a season, most home league wins, most consecutive league wins, most consecutive league away wins, longest unbeaten away run.
2014/15 - In Sept, Beat Man Utd 5-3 in a highlight of the season. Don't win again until December. Perform 'The Great Escape' after being bottom in December through to mid-April and surviving with games to spare, finish 14th. 
2015/16 - Hire Claudio Ranieri. Win the Premier League by TEN points. 5000/1 outsiders at start of the season. Only lose 3 games (twice against Arsenal; once against Liverpool). Vardy, Mahrez & Kante the main stars - the former breaking the record for goals scored in consecutive games - 11
2016/17 - N'Golo Kante sadly sold to Chelsea. Play in the Champions League. Win all 3 CL group games at home. Sack Claudio Ranieri. Hire Craig Shakespeare. Beat Sevilla on aggregate. Lose in quarter-finals vs Atletico Madrid. 
2017/18 - (Shakespeare sacked. Now it may get a little dull with Puel in charge).
2018/19 - Mahrez sold to Man City. In October 2018, chairman Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha dies in a helicopter crash just outside the stadium. 4 others also die in the accident . Puel sacked in February 2019. Brendan Rodgers hired. Vardy reaches 100 league goals for the club. 

25/25.

[Spike]

Maybe a little more interesting.

Brisbane FC, under Ange Postecoglu Brisbane were what everyone thought Barcelona was.
36 games undefeated, mate. 
2011, 2012 @Toinho, 2014, grand finals were all comebacks at the death of the game.
Most wins in A-League history.
Not as popular as the Brisbane Broncos but maybe tied with unpopularity with the Brisbane Lions.
It was Duth founded Hollandia-Innala FC (it is why the team wears oranje) @Panna King  @Panflute until the 70s to which ethnic names for 'soccer' teams were disallowed. Somehow it exists as two clubs now, Hollandia-Innala still exists as Queensland Lions FC despite the fact that it became Brisbane Roar FC... confusing I know.
Robbie Fowler manages the club for some reason.@LFCMadLad @LFCMike @Harry
I'd watch them more often but they play when I need to start work.
First match I ever went to was with a bloke I met on another now dead football forum. Good fella, I wish I still had his contact info.
I didn't know they existed until I was already a teenager, knowing all about the English and European game before that. That is/was how irrelevant the sport is in some parts of the country! Shamefully so, that we disregard our own game! But it does fight with AFL, tennis, motorsports, cricket, league, and union (lol).
We are all still very fond of our honorary Australian German player Thomas Broich! (who I am sure was rubbish in Germany!) @nudge @Tommy @Rucksackfranzose And Robbie Kruse started his career at the Roar (he is from Brisbane) but please, you can keep him in Germany!
Matty McKay is our leading appearance maker, from Brisbane as well but he fucked off to Ranger @Rab but when he couldn't cop the Scottish game he fucked off to Asia for a paycheque and them came crawling back.

And on a side note, there was a Skins TV show rip off based in Brisbane that I just remember. It was called 'Slide' check it out if you want to laugh at us.

Also @Devil-Dick Willie get rooted, ya dog.

[Tommy]

1 hour ago, Spike said:

We are all still very fond of our honorary Australian German player Thomas Broich! (who I am sure was rubbish in Germany!)

Not at all. He was more of a case of unfulfilled promise. He's very intelligent man and a bit of a gentle soul, so I think all the media hype and the pressure in German football wasn't for him, and that's why he flourished in Australia. 

 

They made a movie about him, a documentary called "Tom meets Zizou" which was a very interesting watch. 

[Dr. Gonzo]

2 hours ago, Spike said:

Maybe a little more interesting.

Brisbane FC, under Ange Postecoglu Brisbane were what everyone thought Barcelona was.
36 games undefeated, mate. 
2011, 2012 @Toinho, 2014, grand finals were all comebacks at the death of the game.
Most wins in A-League history.
Not as popular as the Brisbane Broncos but maybe tied with unpopularity with the Brisbane Lions.
It was Duth founded Hollandia-Innala FC (it is why the team wears oranje) @Panna King  @Panflute until the 70s to which ethnic names for 'soccer' teams were disallowed. Somehow it exists as two clubs now, Hollandia-Innala still exists as Queensland Lions FC despite the fact that it became Brisbane Roar FC... confusing I know.
Robbie Fowler manages the club for some reason.@LFCMadLad @LFCMike @Harry
I'd watch them more often but they play when I need to start work.
First match I ever went to was with a bloke I met on another now dead football forum. Good fella, I wish I still had his contact info.
I didn't know they existed until I was already a teenager, knowing all about the English and European game before that. That is/was how irrelevant the sport is in some parts of the country! Shamefully so, that we disregard our own game! But it does fight with AFL, tennis, motorsports, cricket, league, and union (lol).
We are all still very fond of our honorary Australian German player Thomas Broich! (who I am sure was rubbish in Germany!) @nudge @Tommy @Rucksackfranzose And Robbie Kruse started his career at the Roar (he is from Brisbane) but please, you can keep him in Germany!
Matty McKay is our leading appearance maker, from Brisbane as well but he fucked off to Ranger @Rab but when he couldn't cop the Scottish game he fucked off to Asia for a paycheque and them came crawling back.

And on a side note, there was a Skins TV show rip off based in Brisbane that I just remember. It was called 'Slide' check it out if you want to laugh at us.

Also @Devil-Dick Willie get rooted, ya dog.

Didn't even tag me despite my favourite player ever being the manager  

[Spike]

18 minutes ago, Dr. Gonzo said:

Didn't even tag me despite my favourite player ever being the manager  

No Americans allowed.

[Dr. Gonzo]

23 minutes ago, Spike said:

No Americans allowed.

You've been in America longer than me. And you're Australian, which is inherently more American than being Scouse

[Spike]

8 minutes ago, Dr. Gonzo said:

You've been in America longer than me. And you're Australian, which is inherently more American than being Scouse

England founded America, not Australia.  

[Dr. Gonzo]

Just now, Spike said:

England founded America, not Australia.  

They're both spinoffs from the original series