Worst Thing You've Done When Drunk

[Lucas]

Magaluf, when I was 21 easy.

2nd night in and we went to one of them organised crawls where they give you a T-Shirt and it acts as an ice breaker to meet people.

Obviously messy. Got absolutely shitfaced off Absinthe, pulled two lasses from Derby and then we all stripped naked jumping off the jetty down the beach at 4am in the morning.

Unfortunately, first time I jumped in, I left my clothes on so I wrecked my phone, my wallet and my notes inside were drenched. At the time, it doesn't register so I was still loving life. It'll be ok in the morning.

To cap it all when we got out, I couldn't find my shitty T-Shirt from the shittt bar crawl but it was still dark, I had two girls with me and I didn't care.

They agreed to come back with me, and paid for our taxi as my money was wet through, got back to my hotel and when I tried to get into room 207, it wouldn't open.

Only went to the wrong fucking hotel. The embarrassment of being escorted out was real. 

The Derby girls got pissed off with me, got a taxi and left me and I had to walk all the way back to my hotel in the daylight.

Nothing worse than just wanting to collapse in your bed but no, had a mega stomp through the town as the early morning locals surfaced, looking like a typical Brit abroad with no top on, wondering how I went from hero to zero, wrecked phone, blown threesome, a pocketful of crumpled up wet notes and the blazing morning sun making you feel all wobbly and ill.

I've never drunk Absinthe since and I've never ever got that paralytic drunk again.

[Toinho]

11 hours ago, MUFC said:

For those who drink. At what age was your recovery from binges starting to decline?

I always got bad hangovers, but I’d say around 21-23 they got very bad. I haven’t been drunk since January, and I was legit hungover for 3-4 days. I hit it hard but my body is wrecked these days, so I doubt I’ll be getting like that again for a while. 

[Toinho]

I’ve done some pretty dumb things. Climbed fences (that turned out to have barbed wire on), scaled up balconies to get into clubs, 
 

The worst involves 3 front gardens. But I’m trying not to remember that. 
 

A dumb drunk move though was on the east coast of Italy. Went to a club in Riccioni. We got a bus from Rimini at around 7-8pm I’d say. Already steaming drunk. Go into this club, getting close to a girl from the hostel we came from, another aussie guy doesn’t like this (is what I guess?) and hits me in the nuts. I’m absolutely like two drinks from blackout drunk and it hurts so bad. So it must’ve hurt right?! I just stormed out. Went out the front turned left and was like I’m walking home before I do something dumb. 
 

Well I walKed for what seemed like miles, until I came to a McDonald’s. Only memory of this is me going in trying to ask which way it was to Rimini. I jestered into the direction I was travelling and the lady or man said no and pointed the way I came. Hour or so later I was walking back past the club. I just kept walking. I reckon 2-3 hours passed, I stumbled through gardens, along highways, all with no phone reception, and just was like I better head to the coast. Head to the coast, it’s now morning. Find a bus stop realise I’ve walked 2-3 kms too far. Jump on a bus (don’t pay) and maybe 20 minutes later find my hostel. Walk in and my mates are all back. “Did you pull?” Nah I walked home. “You didn’t get the bus out the front of the club?”. What an idiot. 

[Dr. Gonzo]

On 05/07/2021 at 05:19, MUFC said:

For those who drink. At what age was your recovery from binges starting to decline?

Around 30

[Dr. Gonzo]

Worst thing I've done while drunk is get alcohol poisoning and food poisoning at the same time though. I don't remember much of that night though.

[Mel81x+]

On 05/07/2021 at 17:49, MUFC said:

For those who drink. At what age was your recovery from binges starting to decline?

around 35ish. I only realized it when I had to go to a bachelors party with some friends out in the country and I didn't even drink that much but the hangover was horrible.

[Viva la FCB+]

On 05/07/2021 at 05:19, MUFC said:

For those who drink. At what age was your recovery from binges starting to decline?

Definitely mid twenties it started to go down hill. I remember going out for my best buddies birthday one Saturday night and I had to work at 8 am sunday morning, there was no chance of calling in as only two people basically ran the store on Sundays. I was back and forth puking and helping people probably until noon. The old guy I worked with was just laughing at me the whole time, it sucked but It was doable. Now? forget it end me, I wouldnt make it outta bed.

[CaaC (John)+]

On 05/07/2021 at 13:19, MUFC said:

For those who drink. At what age was your recovery from binges starting to decline?

I can't remember really, nowadays I never seem to have a hangover, maybe a slight case of drink tremours and that's it, I know if I do get the DT's and my head a bit fuzzy I will have a 'Hair of the Dog'' and that help.

Reading this I think I will have a  tonight. 

[Devil]

I'd imagine there are a fair few across England that have a story to tell like I had today. 

In fact the director of the company I work for is basically off radar, went out for the game last night, not answering calls, not answering a whatsapp!

Just completely gone off the map. 

[Smiley Culture]

Our director opened the office this morning and has gone home. Not heard from him since. He emailed and said he’ll be back at 5pm to lock up. 

[Danny]

Had a mate at a Christmas party who went up to the CFO of our nationally renowned company and drunkenly smoosh his face from his mouth to his hair and then just walked off.

[Smiley Culture]

One of the directors of a very well known fintech business I used to work for had to have a cab ordered for him at ten at Christmas parties after he went round and ripped pockets off anyone whose shirt had a pocket on. 

[Whiskey]

41 minutes ago, Smiley Culture said:

One of the directors of a very well known fintech business I used to work for had to have a cab ordered for him at ten at Christmas parties after he went round and ripped pockets off anyone whose shirt had a pocket on. 

Sounds a delight.

[Smiley Culture]

18 minutes ago, Whiskey said:

Sounds a delight.

Nice fella actually. Just a bit of a liability when he was drunk. 

[JoshBRFC+]

On 05/07/2021 at 13:19, MUFC said:

For those who drink. At what age was your recovery from binges starting to decline?

Just turned 30 and it’s only just started to decline. My metabolism has always been sexy.

Takes me at best a few hours. Man up get out the house and get some fresh air and have a warm shower. I drink a couple of pints of water before and always make sure I’ve eaten before or during the driiiiink. 

Sunday could get LIonel. Starting at 11:30 our tables booked for for food. Then to my private room for 1pm. Nice 7 hours to get in the mood for football. 

[Devil]

40 minutes ago, JoshBRFC said:

Just turned 30 and it’s only just started to decline. My metabolism has always been sexy.

Takes me at best a few hours. Man up get out the house and get some fresh air and have a warm shower. I drink a couple of pints of water before and always make sure I’ve eaten before or during the driiiiink. 

Sunday could get LIonel. Starting at 11:30 our tables booked for for food. Then to my private room for 1pm. Nice 7 hours to get in the mood for football. 

Yikes, that's a proper session.

I'd be worried I'd miss the match starting that early. 

[CaaC (John)+]

Another one back in my Army days is getting into a fight over football with a Leeds United supporter when drunk, knocked the twat to the ground and turned away to walk back to the billets and he slashed me in the back with a knife or razor, I can't remember much after that but I managed to make my way back to my Barack room and crashed out in my bed.

Now, in training, they always said that if you see someone pissed as a newt make sure he is put in bed lying face down and not on his back in case he is sick and could choke to death on his own vomit, on this particular night my roommate, Jock, was just as pissed as me and was crashed out in his bed.

When I woke up the next morning with a raging hang-over every time I tried to get out of bed I couldn't get up as if my back was stuck to my bed, I eventually managed to rise and when I looked at my bedding it was coated in blood, my roommate was singing away and I asked him if there was anything wrong with my back and let him a have a look, all he said was "For fucks sake man your back is ripped open!!!, you been in a fight or whatnot?", I told him about the fight I had with the Leeds supporter and he took me up to Camp 10 medical centre.

I ended up having 10 stitches in my back and the MO stitching me up asked how I had got that and I said I must have fallen down our room stairs last night and the corner of the stairs ripped it open, I never said about the fight otherwise I would have been charged with being drunk and causing myself grievous bodily harm, I told him I woke up stuck to my sheeting and mattress, he just looked at me and said "That was no stairs that caused that wound, that was either a knife or a razor and you are fucking lucky you crashed out on your bed on your back as the sheet and mattress acted as a tourniquet and stopped the bleeding, you could have bled to death".

I was put on light duties for the week and I was chuffed with that as all I could do was being a Regimental Runner for the week and no cookhouse fatigues or guard duties, but I soon crashed back down to earth when I had to pay for a new army mattress and sheets from my monthly pay.

 

[JoshBRFC+]

9 hours ago, Devil said:

Yikes, that's a proper session.

I'd be worried I'd miss the match starting that early. 

Not a chance. I’ve got my pre match playlist. Gonna fuck everyone up at snooker darts and pool abs hopefully lose my voice again. Bring it on. I’ll add a picture of our supermarket alcohol purchases after our meal for the private room. It’s got the potential to be one of the best days of our life. 

[CaaC (John)+]

Wouldn't say I was drunk but a bit tipsy last night but sitting here watching a movie with the wife, she was on her laptop and I was on the sofa stretched out, then I kept hearing animal noises like horses neighing, chicken, ducks etc and thought what the fuck?

Checked it wasn't on the tv and went into the kitchen and looked out onto the back lawn to see if anybody had any bloody animals out there...nothing?

This went on for about 5 minutes so I checked outside the lounge window and eventually the wife got curious and asked me why I kept getting up and down looking out the windows and I told her I kept hearing animal noises? she started laughing and said I am on Facebook in my Animal Farm game and that's what you can hear!!!! 

[Whiskey]

9 hours ago, CaaC (John) said:

Wouldn't say I was drunk but a bit tipsy last night but sitting here watching a movie with the wife, she was on her laptop and I was on the sofa stretched out, then I kept hearing animal noises like horses neighing, chicken, ducks etc and thought what the fuck?

Checked it wasn't on the tv and went into the kitchen and looked out onto the back lawn to see if anybody had any bloody animals out there...nothing?

This went on for about 5 minutes so I checked outside the lounge window and eventually the wife got curious and asked me why I kept getting up and down looking out the windows and I told her I kept hearing animal noises? she started laughing and said I am on Facebook in my Animal Farm game and that's what you can hear!!!! 

This reminds me of the time when (and this is totally true), my mum sat for a good 30 minutes worried and upset downstairs because she could hear non stop police sirens, a police helicopter overhead and what she thought were explosions and/or shots fired.

Said that it was too close to home and that something pretty serious was going on downtown. 

It was then my Dad pointed out that he was upstairs, playing Grand Theft Auto.