Dating, Relationships and Marriage Thread

[MUFC]

On 31/10/2020 at 00:51, Toinho said:

Not sure where to put it but....

My partner and I are expecting.... TWINS!! 
 

Future doubles Wimbledon champs?

[JoshBRFC+]

On 31/10/2020 at 00:51, Toinho said:

Not sure where to put it but....

My partner and I are expecting.... TWINS!! 
 

Congrats mate!  I'm too impatient to not find out the sex.

Best feeling in the world being a parent.  However ask me again in a few years i may say otherwise. 

[JoshBRFC+]

I'm currently speaking to a girl who seems like a very nice  and a genuine good person. Hopefully take her out for a date when we're allowed. She seems different to the people I've spoken to since being single again.

I've done the whole one night stand thing again a couple of time since being single and casual(safe) sex.  One of which was my sisters friend who i will be no doubt seeing at my sisters wedding next year as she's her bridesmaid.. awkward.

I have also had a few dates but nothing i've wanted to take further thus far.

The last girl we both knew what we were getting.. i cooked a nice meal and drinks and you know the rest.  And the first time we did just that. It was nice but then the 2nd time she outright asked me if i want to be in a relationship and i said no not right this second.. I'm not rushing into anything.  Well she went psycho and said i used her. I'm at a stage in my life where i  refuse to rush into any relationship, if that makes me a bad person in someone's eye then so be it. It's for the right reasons, i want as little drama as possible and a happy peaceful life. I will have to get to know someone properly. Whether we sleep together or not I'm not deciding on the spot after meeting just once whether i want to tie myself down with her. 

[Viva la FCB+]

Little late on this one but congrats @Stan  wish you guys the best for the wedding and your futures.

also congrats to you @Toinho as well!

[CaaC (John)+]

Rain, snow, wind outside and today is our 46th Wedding Anniversary so it will be an indoors celebration for me and Liz, our daughter can't make it around with the 2 grandsons as we Kaiden is not feeling well so it will be Video calls on this laptop and Lizs to the grandsons, our son is out doing his taxi bit so he won't be home until later.

But not to worry, going to open the wine up around 2 ish and sit here and enjoy it, the wine chiller is stocked out with wine and the small beer cooler in the kitchen has our son's lager chilling away so today will consist of...  

[Mel81x+]

19 hours ago, CaaC (John) said:

Rain, snow, wind outside and today is our 46th Wedding Anniversary so it will be an indoors celebration for me and Liz, our daughter can't make it around with the 2 grandsons as we Kaiden is not feeling well so it will be Video calls on this laptop and Lizs to the grandsons, our son is out doing his taxi bit so he won't be home until later.

But not to worry, going to open the wine up around 2 ish and sit here and enjoy it, the wine chiller is stocked out with wine and the small beer cooler in the kitchen has our son's lager chilling away so today will consist of...  

Happy Anniversary to you and the Mrs. John.

[DeadLinesman]

Happy Anniversary mate.

[JoshBRFC+]

20 hours ago, CaaC (John) said:

Rain, snow, wind outside and today is our 46th Wedding Anniversary so it will be an indoors celebration for me and Liz, our daughter can't make it around with the 2 grandsons as we Kaiden is not feeling well so it will be Video calls on this laptop and Lizs to the grandsons, our son is out doing his taxi bit so he won't be home until later.

But not to worry, going to open the wine up around 2 ish and sit here and enjoy it, the wine chiller is stocked out with wine and the small beer cooler in the kitchen has our son's lager chilling away so today will consist of...  

Happy Anniversary John. That’s crazy all those years... what’s the trick? Lots of Wine??

I’ll be happy to just live 46 years.

[JoshBRFC+]

I got a rather surprising WhatsApp message off my ex the other day, the Mother of my child.

Out of the Blue..

“I feel like I miss you.. and that I want you to come for Tea”

 

 

[Toinho]

1 minute ago, JoshBRFC said:

I got a rather surprising WhatsApp message off my ex the other day, the Mother of my child.

Out of the Blue..

“I feel like I miss you.. and that I want you to come for Tea”

 

 

How did you respond?

[JoshBRFC+]

9 minutes ago, Toinho said:

How did you respond?

We’ve been through too much for me to turn her away if she needs a chat or anything, she’s the most kind hearted decent person I’ve ever met and I chose the perfect mother for my child. She’s like a saint compared to the past I have. 

Maybe she sees how happy and at peace I finally am with myself and wants to hear about it. I don’t know... 

I said give it a week or 2 and I’ll go and have a chat with her and a catch up. I know nothing bad or no harm can come of it. 

[Bluewolf]

21 hours ago, CaaC (John) said:

Rain, snow, wind outside and today is our 46th Wedding Anniversary so it will be an indoors celebration for me and Liz, our daughter can't make it around with the 2 grandsons as we Kaiden is not feeling well so it will be Video calls on this laptop and Lizs to the grandsons, our son is out doing his taxi bit so he won't be home until later.

But not to worry, going to open the wine up around 2 ish and sit here and enjoy it, the wine chiller is stocked out with wine and the small beer cooler in the kitchen has our son's lager chilling away so today will consist of...  

For the love of god man get the wife to take the pictures, they are so out of focus I think my eyesight's going... 

[N U F C]

15 minutes ago, JoshBRFC said:

We’ve been through too much for me to turn her away if she needs a chat or anything, she’s the most kind hearted decent person I’ve ever met and I chose the perfect mother for my child. She’s like a saint compared to the past I have. 

Maybe she sees how happy and at peace I finally am with myself and wants to hear about it. I don’t know... 

I said give it a week or 2 and I’ll go and have a chat with her and a catch up. I know nothing bad or no harm can come of it. 

Would you consider getting back with her? How old is your child?

[JoshBRFC+]

30 minutes ago, N U F C said:

Would you consider getting back with her? How old is your child?

Daughter is 2 and half. Me and the mother have been single for 14 months and I was the main reason we split up.
 

And yeah I would consider it as we both still love each other, and I want that family life. I miss the simple things like coming home from work after a hard day and having my daughter there. BUT...it would take a looong period of other things before that first.... as I’m under no illusion you can’t do things just for a child as we tried that before we split up. We’re not meeting up to get back together, but I’d be lying if it wasn’t a small % of a thought that had entered my mind. IF and a big if... it would be months and months down the line and a long process to avoid making any mistakes. Who knows what the future holds! But I’m happy either way right now so can catch up with a clear head without feeling like I need something from her.

 

 

[CaaC (John)+]

1 hour ago, Bluewolf said:

For the love of god man get the wife to take the pictures, they are so out of focus I think my eyesight's going... 

Must be your eyesight then as they are not out of focus to me.

[Bluewolf]

59 minutes ago, JoshBRFC said:

Daughter is 2 and half. Me and the mother have been single for 14 months and I was the main reason we split up.
 

And yeah I would consider it as we both still love each other, and I want that family life. I miss the simple things like coming home from work after a hard day and having my daughter there. BUT...it would take a looong period of other things before that first.... as I’m under no illusion you can’t do things just for a child as we tried that before we split up. We’re not meeting up to get back together, but I’d be lying if it wasn’t a small % of a thought that had entered my mind. IF and a big if... it would be months and months down the line and a long process to avoid making any mistakes. Who knows what the future holds! But I’m happy either way right now so can catch up with a clear head without feeling like I need something from her.

 

 

Seems a strange thing to say that she thinks she misses you, could just be that she misses something, company, you being around etc.. someone adult to talk to at the end of the day.. My missus went through a phase of that while I was working a lot and the kids were younger, she just needed some proper adult conversation at the end of her day which is understandable. not that it's a bad thing though because this split has given you both a time out to reflect on your relationship without being under each others feet and allowing those day to day annoyances to get in the way of clear thinking.. Sounds as though you are in a slightly better place being a little more at peace with yourself and being more realistic about what it would take to step back into that situation something made all the more agonising with a little one to consider... 

[DeadLinesman]

2 hours ago, Toinho said:

How did you respond?

 

[JoshBRFC+]

10 minutes ago, Bluewolf said:

Seems a strange thing to say that she thinks she misses you, could just be that she misses something, company, you being around etc.. someone adult to talk to at the end of the day.. My missus went through a phase of that while I was working a lot and the kids were younger, she just needed some proper adult conversation at the end of her day which is understandable. not that it's a bad thing though because this split has given you both a time out to reflect on your relationship without being under each others feet and allowing those day to day annoyances to get in the way of clear thinking.. Sounds as though you are in a slightly better place being a little more at peace with yourself and being more realistic about what it would take to step back into that situation something made all the more agonising with a little one to consider... 

We've had conversations in depth since then and i understand what she means.  We're both realistic and sensible in our approach and i think a catch up is needed to be honest. Whether that's for closure, or to understand each other as parents or for something more... i really don't know. 

 

[JoshBRFC+]

2 minutes ago, DeadLinesman said:

 

Hahahaha yep, be lying if that hadn't crossed my mind.

I may have joked into a conversation for her to cancel work one day this week and come to mine after the Nursery run in the morning.   I didn't get a no... 

 

[Stan]

2 hours ago, JoshBRFC said:

I got a rather surprising WhatsApp message off my ex the other day, the Mother of my child.

Out of the Blue..

“I feel like I miss you.. and that I want you to come for Tea”

 

 

What did you do... 

[Bluewolf]

49 minutes ago, JoshBRFC said:

We've had conversations in depth since then and i understand what she means.  We're both realistic and sensible in our approach and i think a catch up is needed to be honest. Whether that's for closure, or to understand each other as parents or for something more... i really don't know. 

 

Well you have nothing to lose and everything to gain potentially.... Best case you can start again the pair of you but trying not to make the same mistakes or worse case scenario it's just closure as you say but at least it will be sorted and something you are at least prepared for and unless you do get together again you are never going to know if that spark or desire to make it work is still there or not... 

[CaaC (John)+]

1 hour ago, JoshBRFC said:

We've had conversations in depth since then and i understand what she means.  We're both realistic and sensible in our approach and i think a catch up is needed to be honest. Whether that's for closure, or to understand each other as parents or for something more... i really don't know. 

 

There was a period in our marriage which was a hard slog when I worked down South (Southend-on-Sea) in a tyre remould factory where I worked bloody long hours, sometimes 13/14 hrs a day plus Sat/Sun now and then, the money was good but the downfall was hardly not seeing the wife and our young son & daughter then, come in at night time shattered, jumped in the shower or bath and by the time I had some eats I was in bed 9 ish as I was up around 4 in the morning to head off back to work.

I can remember going to a parents-teacher meeting one night and our son's teacher coughed and asked me politely "Are you two separated if you don't mind me asking" I said no and we asked her why she said that and she replied "It's just Darren [our son] has been upset lately saying he never sees hid dad much more", I explained to his teacher the hours I worked and when I got in at nights Darren & Denise was normally in bed.

That was a bloody wake-up call for me and I made sure I cut the work hours back where I would get in at nights when the two kiddies were not in bed, cut back working weekends and socialized with the wife and kids a lot more, marriage to me was more important than trying to earn a lot of money, it may have bought me and the wife our own home but when our firm went bust and I was made redundant and we had to give up the house because I could not cover the expenses we decided to move back to Scotland where we were more closer to family, Liz's side as most of my family was still in Australia.  

That was the best move I have ever made and I ended up working my way up in a building in charge of security and part of the management team and over the years our son & daughter grew up and gave us 3 lovely grandsons.

As I said to our son & daughter many a time over the years "Life can be a bastard sometimes but you just have to grit your fucking teeth and get on with it", our son ended up getting divorced our daughter split up with her partner after 12 years but my advice about life kicked in, they gritted their teeth and carried on with their, life, life may be a bastard sometimes but you will always find someone worse off than you. 

[JoshBRFC+]

2 hours ago, CaaC (John) said:

Must be your eyesight then as they are not out of focus to me.

I'm with Mr Wolf.. i feel dizzy and your wine's Berlin.

1 hour ago, Stan said:

What did you do... 

All i did was send her a snapchat of me with my TF365 MOTM award and she was all over me.

 

Haha nah, i've kind of explained in posts above mate

[JoshBRFC+]

44 minutes ago, CaaC (John) said:

There was a period in our marriage which was a hard slog when I worked down South (Southend-on-Sea) in a tyre remould factory where I worked bloody long hours, sometimes 13/14 hrs a day plus Sat/Sun now and then, the money was good but the downfall was hardly not seeing the wife and our young son & daughter then, come in at night time shattered, jumped in the shower or bath and by the time I had some eats I was in bed 9 ish as I was up around 4 in the morning to head off back to work.

I can remember going to a parents-teacher meeting one night and our son's teacher coughed and asked me politely "Are you two separated if you don't mind me asking" I said no and we asked her why she said that and she replied "It's just Darren [our son] has been upset lately saying he never sees hid dad much more", I explained to his teacher the hours I worked and when I got in at nights Darren & Denise was normally in bed.

That was a bloody wake-up call for me and I made sure I cut the work hours back where I would get in at nights when the two kiddies were not in bed, cut back working weekends and socialized with the wife and kids a lot more, marriage to me was more important than trying to earn a lot of money, it may have bought me and the wife our own home but when our firm went bust and I was made redundant and we had to give up the house because I could not cover the expenses we decided to move back to Scotland where we were more closer to family, Liz's side as most of my family was still in Australia.  

That was the best move I have ever made and I ended up working my way up in a building in charge of security and part of the management team and over the years our son & daughter grew up and gave us 3 lovely grandsons.

As I said to our son & daughter many a time over the years "Life can be a bastard sometimes but you just have to grit your fucking teeth and get on with it", our son ended up getting divorced our daughter split up with her partner after 12 years but my advice about life kicked in, they gritted their teeth and carried on with their, life, life may be a bastard sometimes but you will always find someone worse off than you. 

 

1 hour ago, Bluewolf said:

Well you have nothing to lose and everything to gain potentially.... Best case you can start again the pair of you but trying not to make the same mistakes or worse case scenario it's just closure as you say but at least it will be sorted and something you are at least prepared for and unless you do get together again you are never going to know if that spark or desire to make it work is still there or not... 

Cheers fellas. Appreciate the words of wisdom.

[carefreeluke]

4 hours ago, JoshBRFC said:

Daughter is 2 and half. Me and the mother have been single for 14 months and I was the main reason we split up.
 

And yeah I would consider it as we both still love each other, and I want that family life. I miss the simple things like coming home from work after a hard day and having my daughter there. BUT...it would take a looong period of other things before that first.... as I’m under no illusion you can’t do things just for a child as we tried that before we split up. We’re not meeting up to get back together, but I’d be lying if it wasn’t a small % of a thought that had entered my mind. IF and a big if... it would be months and months down the line and a long process to avoid making any mistakes. Who knows what the future holds! But I’m happy either way right now so can catch up with a clear head without feeling like I need something from her.

 

 

That's the main thing mate.

Nice to have you back on here by the way.