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Your relationship with your parents?

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What is your relationship like with your parents? Mine is very good with my mum. It's improving with my dad. It's actually the same with my sister. 

I think when you are young you base it on different things. Which one lets you stay up late or gives you chocolate etc. When you get older you realise whether your parents were good parents or not. What me and my sister both agree on is that my mum was a good parents who tried her best. Where as we both agree that my dad wasn't a good dad. I'm not going to go into to much detail but it for reasons that most would agree on. 

I think to a certain extent you get exposed by your children when they are older. When they are young they don't understand a lot of things. They may resent you for not buying them their favourite toy. Where as when they are older they understand that maybe they didn't have the money at the time. 

I think if you are a bad parent you will generally suffer the consequences when your children grow up. If they don't want to see you or they prefer the other parent it isn't nice but it is the consequences of your actions.

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My relationship with my family couldn't be stronger. Like Cannabis said, it really does mean everything to me that we are that close.

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Without going into much detail, my family has always been quite dysfunctional to put it mildly. I lived at my grandparents' until I was 11-12, started earning my own money at about the same age, got to properly know my father only when I was a teenager already, and put up with a lot of different family-related shite for years. To summarise it, now I have a great relationship with my father, keep in touch regularly with my mother, and cut ties with the rest of the family years ago.

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Very strong with my immediate family in general, including the parents. Always had a strong bond and I'm forever thankful for that. As above, family is everything.

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I've got a really good relationship with my parents, and really the whole of my family... other than one uncle and his dickhead kids. I'm basically as close as I can be with my parents while being half the world away from them - but I talk with them on the phone/email/WhatsApp and all of that shite. I don't think I've ever been seriously upset with my parents ever, which I think is pretty fortunate.

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Not that i have had family issues growing up but i won't say family is everything to me or anyone else in general. I rarely keep contact with anyone who is away from me whether friends or family 

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Mum great, Dad not really as they are divorced and he took too much time to wanting to get involved with me. Step Dad great and younger bro as well.

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I'm very close with my family, though sometimes there's a slight personality clash. 

My parents are very emotional, straightforward people, whereas I guess to other people I come off as more cold and reserved. I think they wish I was different, and that leads to them sometimes reading how I behave in the wrong way and getting offended by it because I come off as distant or uncaring. For example, I like time alone or quiet time without speaking to people, which I think to them is an extremely odd idea. 

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Have a good relationship with my parents and extended family, though the family doesn't extend that far. I know I'm lucky as I can't imagine living a life where I don't always know I have my parents to fall back on if anything disastrous somehow happens.

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On 11/04/2019 at 13:40, nudge said:

Without going into much detail, my family has always been quite dysfunctional to put it mildly. I lived at my grandparents' until I was 11-12, started earning my own money at about the same age, got to properly know my father only when I was a teenager already, and put up with a lot of different family-related shite for years. To summarise it, now I have a great relationship with my father, keep in touch regularly with my mother, and cut ties with the rest of the family years ago.

This is shocking similar to me. 

Was raised really by my best friend's parents who took truly ownership of my well being when I was young. Parents don't like one another, and have both been married multiple times (Mom is on her 5th, Dad on his 4th). Not really close with either growing up, which changed when I was kicked out of my Mom's house at 14 due to 'religious differences', and I was forced to live with my Dad who had zero idea what he was doing. Through the years and up until high school, my father and I grew close and both put in effort to become close. I have never been close to my grandparents or cousins, but I do have 3 sisters, 2 of which I'm close to, the rest I don't keep in contact with. 

Since having a child, my relationship with both of my parents have improved as they are both fantastic grandparents. 

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3 minutes ago, Eco said:

when I was kicked out of my Mom's house at 14 due to 'religious differences'

WTF

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25 minutes ago, nudge said:

WTF

Yeah - my mother was deeply ingrained with the Church of Christ movement that took over the South. One of their beliefs is that you aren't to eat or stay under the safe roof as non-believers, as they can tarnish the house, which is 'God's House'. I was highly confused, and was going through some rough times which is when I started to get involved with Buddhism, which lasted for about a year until my Mom caught wind of it when I was 14 and ordered me out of the house. 

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2 minutes ago, Eco said:

Yeah - my mother was deeply ingrained with the Church of Christ movement that took over the South. One of their beliefs is that you aren't to eat or stay under the safe roof as non-believers, as they can tarnish the house, which is 'God's House'. I was highly confused, and was going through some rough times which is when I started to get involved with Buddhism, which lasted for about a year until my Mom caught wind of it when I was 14 and ordered me out of the house. 

Sorry that it happened to you Lucas, that's well and truly fucked up.

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Just now, nudge said:

Sorry that it happened to you Lucas, that's well and truly fucked up.

Ha - it's perfectly fine. it's been almost 20 years and Mom and I have talked about, and while I think she feels 'some' remorse, I don't think she believes it was the wrong choice. All very strange, but at least she's a great Grandmother. xD

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3 minutes ago, nudge said:

Sorry that it happened to you Lucas, that's well and truly fucked up.

Also should point out, that my maternal grandfather was a CoC preacher, so my Mom was deep into it since an infant, and is not the type of person to really think and question things that she sees as normal. While I don't give her that many excuses, looking back, her actions don't shock me whatsoever. 

On a MUCH more positive note - my wife's grandparents are also very religious (Christian), and don't give two shits what I believe, but care more about kindness, forgiveness, understanding, and just being a good human. They know my story, have never cared but were VERY curious, and nothing changed except maybe they respected me a bit more for it. They call my every year on my birthday and sing to me (they are both 80 years old), all because my wife told them that my parents never celebrated my birthday growing up. xD They are truly fantastic people. 

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On 11/04/2019 at 14:40, nudge said:

Without going into much detail, my family has always been quite dysfunctional to put it mildly. I lived at my grandparents' until I was 11-12, started earning my own money at about the same age, got to properly know my father only when I was a teenager already, and put up with a lot of different family-related shite for years. To summarise it, now I have a great relationship with my father, keep in touch regularly with my mother, and cut ties with the rest of the family years ago.

 

47 minutes ago, Eco said:

This is shocking similar to me. 

Was raised really by my best friend's parents who took truly ownership of my well being when I was young. Parents don't like one another, and have both been married multiple times (Mom is on her 5th, Dad on his 4th). Not really close with either growing up, which changed when I was kicked out of my Mom's house at 14 due to 'religious differences', and I was forced to live with my Dad who had zero idea what he was doing. Through the years and up until high school, my father and I grew close and both put in effort to become close. I have never been close to my grandparents or cousins, but I do have 3 sisters, 2 of which I'm close to, the rest I don't keep in contact with. 

Since having a child, my relationship with both of my parents have improved as they are both fantastic grandparents. 

That must have not been easy but i'm glad both of you managed to rise above it and become good respectable persons.

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4 minutes ago, Berserker said:

 

That must have not been easy but i'm glad both of you managed to rise above it and become good respectable persons.

It's funny really, it's one of those situations that sounds so much worse when I say it aloud or write it. 

Cheers though man, it means a lot though. :ay:

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I've always had a good relationship with my parents although we had a few bigger fights in the past, mainly about religion. I never wanted to practise because I'm an atheist but they were forcing me to do it (I mean going to church and doing all this religious nonsense) so I was rebelling from time to time but now everything is ok. Relationship with my little sister is even better, I don't even remember when we argued last time.

Edited by kapisevicius

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23 hours ago, Eco said:

It's funny really, it's one of those situations that sounds so much worse when I say it aloud or write it. 

Cheers though man, it means a lot though. :ay:

Nice that you take it with humour, humour makes everything better. When you mentioned your mom's religion movement it made me think about True Detective's first season for some reason. xD

Edited by Berserker

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Just now, Berserker said:

Nice that you take it with humour, humours makes everything better. When you mentioned your mom's religion movement it made me think about True Detective's first season for some reason. xD

Haha I have never watched True Detective, although it's been recommended to me often. 

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Just now, Eco said:

Haha I have never watched True Detective, although it's been recommended to me often. 

It's great, you should give it a watch.

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Never met my father. Hated my step father who was around til I was 16. Haven't seen one since. Disowned my mum who I haven't seen in over a year.

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2 minutes ago, Devil-Dick Willie said:

Never met my father. Hated my step father who was around til I was 16. Haven't seen one since. Disowned my mum who I haven't seen in over a year.

Yeah - I know we've spoken about this before, but all I can say is that whole situation sucks. Hate it for you, man. 

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