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What would you do in a zombie apocalypse?

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By Guest Cannabis
in The Pub

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Guest Cannabis

Posted
Posted

Inspired by Shaun of the Dead that's currently on my TV. 

What would you do if the living dead suddenly started tearing your town a new one? Would you run to the hills? Tackle the horde by yourself? Have one last tug into your favourite sock? 

Let us know down below and to help you out here are the top five tips from Cornell University (yeah, they've actually been studying this).

  1. Buy handcuffs and a stun gun
  2. Stock up on supplies
  3. Wait for the government to find a cure
  4. Buy a protective suit
  5. Isolate your family somewhere safe
  • Replies 31
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Berserker

Posted
Posted

Steal all the guns and bulletproof clothes i can find, with that i'd stock up on supplies, then i'd hijack a country house with tall steel fences and hopefully solar panels,  animals and a well and live happily ever after.

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Devil-Dick Willie

Posted
Posted

This is where people always go wrong. If it's a zombie apocalypse. It's an apocalypse. The end of the world. Everyone will die.

 

In the event of a zombie outbreak however, I would loot some local stores, steal a van and run to the fucking hills.

1 hour ago, NeymarPele said:

Steal all the guns and bulletproof clothes i can find, with that i'd stock up on supplies, then i'd hijack a country house with tall steel fences and hopefully solar panels,  animals and a well and live happily ever after.

 

Shark mail is the bet protection against zombies. Covers your body and can't be chewed through.

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Berserker

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, Tanksie said:

This is where people always go wrong. If it's a zombie apocalypse. It's an apocalypse. The end of the world. Everyone will die.

 

In the event of a zombie outbreak however, I would loot some local stores, steal a van and run to the fucking hills.

 

Shark mail is the bet protection against zombies. Covers your body and can't be chewed through.

Zombies would catch up while you're killing the shark and cutting it's skin.

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Spike

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Tanksie said:

Shark mail is a modern type of fine, light chainmail you spacker.

Don't worry bro, that is just the level of education Brazilians learn in their favelas.

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Berserker

Posted
Posted
7 minutes ago, Tanksie said:

Shark mail is a modern type of fine, light chainmail you spacker.

Blame google you mong, found nothing under that name on it. Sharksuits on the other hand bring results. That should work, yeah.

 

5 minutes ago, Spike said:

Don't worry bro, that is just the level of education Brazilians learn in their favelas.

I'll drown your weak bitch ass on the Pacific Ocean you papuan pig.

 

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Spike

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, NeymarPele said:

Blame google you mong, found nothing about it on it. Sharksuits on the other hand bring results. That should work, yeah.

 

I'll drown your weak bitch ass on the Pacific Ocean you papuan pig.

 

You can kiss my weak ass while I take a dump on your favela shack.

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Berserker

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, Spike said:

You can kiss my weak ass while I take a dump on your favela shack.

That shack would resist double the storms your fucking straw hut in the middle of the jungle could you ugly, obese cunt.

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Spike

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, NeymarPele said:

That shack would resist double the storms your fucking straw hut in the middle of the jungle could you ugly, obese cunt.

Even when I'm dead and buried next to my village's dung heap and I can rest easy knowing I'm not Brazilian. 

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Eco

Posted
Posted

If we are talking about an apocalypse, then I might just go to the North Georgia mountains, or the beach. Might as well enjoy my last few days on this Earth.

I'm also a believer in a God, so I'd spend my last day(s) praying.

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Inverted

Posted
Posted

Get as much canned food and bottled water as I can find, grab some golf clubs or whatever tools like hammers etc I can find, go out into the country and try to wait it out and avoid them as much as possible. 

Scotland's a lot less densely populated than Denmark, and I live in a kinda quiet suburb, so if I was back home I think it would be easier. Here I live on the top floor of my apartment block with hundreds of other students, with a few other apartment buildings nearby. So there's a good chance I'd be trapped straight away and then I'd be fucked obviously. 

If I did manage to get out of the area, I'm pretty much at the edge of the city so at least I'd be able to get out into the countryside, and even get to the coast pretty quickly. Plus I have a bicycle here, which is probably better than needing to travel in a car with my family, drawing way more attention and running the risk of running out of diesel. 

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Stan

Posted
  • Administrator
Posted
12 hours ago, NeymarPele said:

Steal all the guns and bulletproof clothes i can find, with that i'd stock up on supplies, then i'd hijack a country house with tall steel fences and hopefully solar panels,  animals and a well and live happily ever after.

why would you need bulletproof clothes? Zombies don't carry guns and wouldn't know how to use them. they kill their prey (humans) by biting them or eating them. 

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Berserker

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Stan said:

why would you need bulletproof clothes? Zombies don't carry guns and wouldn't know how to use them. they kill their prey (humans) by biting them or eating them. 

I know, it's for the humans that i'd need the bulletproof clothes. For zombies i could either do what Danny suggested or tie some thick books to my body.

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Dickie

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, Tanksie said:

 

 

Nigger.jpg

I could never sacrifice you our bromance is too strong!!!!

 

 

*Trips you and lets the zombie hoard get you*

 

 

Far too strong

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Dickie

Posted
Posted
16 minutes ago, Cannabis said:

Ignore @Dickie's nice comments about a bromance brewing, he still hasn't added me on Xbox Live despite us being best buddies for years now. 

This is false, I added you I'm literally looking at my friend list right now ¬¬

UncaringChaff

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