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Question a Member: Deadlinesman

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We kick off talkfootball365's first question a member with our resident bald fat man, (no not Any O) Deadlinesman!

This thread will be open for one week, so get your questions in, please keep them relatively clean so the authorities don't crack down on the old bloke.

Ask away!

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13 minutes ago, Cannabis said:

How long have you been hiding in the Scottish woodlands?

 

Since I was told Mrs Cannabis was going on a solo hike in the area.

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What do you like the best about living in the UK?

 

What do you dislike the most about living in the UK?

 

On average, how often would you wank a week?

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15 minutes ago, Anton said:

What do you like the best about living in the UK?

 

What do you dislike the most about living in the UK?

 

On average, how often would you wank a week?

The best think about the UK, middle of the country in particular is that yore never that far away from diversity. Cornwall in the summer, London is 2 hours in the train, lakes 2 hours by car or Scotland/Yorkshire dales for some decent walks and weekends away. Some countries are that vast you live in them and don't get to appreciate them.

 

The worst thing is the weather. It's fucking shite. Maybe 2/3 weeks of sunshine per year, absolute joke. Extremely depressing as it seems to be constant grey sky and overcast.

 

I bash the bishop everytime I visit your profile page on Facebook, I just can't help myself. So probably 3/4 times a week, 7 if I'm feeling particularly lonely.

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What age did you go bald?

 

What is it you do for a living?

 

To which celebrity your wife reminds you the most of?

 

Which countries have you visited and plan to visit?

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  • What's your most embarrassing moment in your life where you thought "Please lord bury me"... Tell all!
  • For whatever reason (an important one maybe), have you ever had to be a hypocrite and pretend to like someone or agree with something you are against.
  • Have you ever cheated on your (or a) partner?
  • Apart from Manchester United or England...  What's the most excited you have ever been in a football match where you went unusually mental?

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1] Do you miss Weird World?

2] What is the best thing about being bald?

3] Which forum member would you really like to punch and why?

4] How soon do you believe will Sir Balon and True Blue  get married to each other?

5] Allie Haze, Monica Roccaforte, Valentina Nappi, Selen or Erika Bella. Chose one and why? (Google them with the relevant term, or ask True Blue)

 6] Favourite LFC player.

7] Your realistic expectations from Jose for the season and beyond, and brief thoughts on his playing style.

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1. Do you like the nickname booby?

2. Have you ever had hair?

3. Have you ever been fit?

4. Does anyone apart me call you fat Phil?

5. Did you ever had a gay relationship?

6. Is it true you now like the city of Liverpool?

7. What is your dream job?

8. Is Anton your sex slave?

9. What year have you became a glory hunter?

10. Best porn scenario?

11. Does your family think you are carrying a baby?

 

 

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I promise these will all be answered this evening, some possibly at lunch. I'm not being an ignorant cunt xD

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Would you wash and wax your car if you lived in Scotland?

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3 hours ago, Berserker said:

What age did you go bald?

 

What is it you do for a living?

 

To which celebrity your wife reminds you the most of?

 

Which countries have you visited and plan to visit?

I was 15, receding badly but it's hereditary so fuck it.

I work assessing disable people for equipment and adaptations to assist them to stay at home and as independent as possible.

She was told she looks like Helen Baxendale. Doesn't look like anyone if I'm honest.

Too many to list mate. Most of North America, most of Europe. Really want to do Australia and New Zealand.

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Have you ever been balls deep in a squealing hog while firing a shotgun into the sky?

 

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3 hours ago, SirBalon said:
  • What's your most embarrassing moment in your life where you thought "Please lord bury me"... Tell all!
  • For whatever reason (an important one maybe), have you ever had to be a hypocrite and pretend to like someone or agree with something you are against.
  • Have you ever cheated on your (or a) partner?
  • Apart from Manchester United or England...  What's the most excited you have ever been in a football match where you went unusually mental?

So after a particularly heavy night out at Uni, we were all downstairs having breakfast in communal halls. Thinking I could squeak a cheeky fart out, I shat myself in front of 60+ people. It was not a nice walk back to my room.

I have to be a hypocrite everyday at work. Unfortunately it's just the way things are at the minute.

Hate cheats. Top of my shit list. I'd always Split from someone before cheating on them as you take that baggage into your next relationship.

Probably Northwich Vs Charlton - FA Cup a few years back. YouTube it and you'll see me on the pitch invasion xD

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7 hours ago, IgnisExcubitor said:

1] Do you miss Weird World?

Like a hole in the fucking head. His obsession with England was bizarre. Definitely a wrongun.

2] What is the best thing about being bald?

I'm like Statham. Women dig the baldness. Plus I don't have to fanny around with my hair every 2 fucking seconds. Nice and cheap buzzing it down every week.

3] Which forum member would you really like to punch and why?

Hmmmmm. I'd like to give my good friend Anton a slap because he's a cheeky fucker and I've put up with his shit for 10 years almost.

4] How soon do you believe will Sir Balon and True Blue  get married to each other?

You're telling me that they're not already in a civil partnership?

5] Allie Haze, Monica Roccaforte, Valentina Nappi, Selen or Erika Bella. Chose one and why? (Google them with the relevant term, or ask True Blue)

Definitely Allie Haze. She's wonderful :x

 6] Favourite LFC player.

Fucks sake. Hmm, pains me to say it but Milner. He's a great professional, you can't ask for any more.

7] Your realistic expectations from Jose for the season and beyond, and brief thoughts on his playing style.

We'll probably end up 5th but should have been top 3 without silly draws at home every other week. I think we'll see the best of United again next summer if we meet our transfer targets.

 

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7 hours ago, True Blue said:

1. Do you like the nickname booby?

It's fantastic. Reminds me of Swiftard every day.

2. Have you ever had hair?

Indeed I have. You have my Facebook, go check it.

3. Have you ever been fit?

I used run the 100metres in 11.3 seconds and was pretty handy at cross country as well. I'm still fairly fit to be fair. 

4. Does anyone apart me call you fat Phil?

My brother in law used to. Until I smacked him.

5. Did you ever had a gay relationship?

You should know mate.

6. Is it true you now like the city of Liverpool?

The people are actually pretty friendly and it's not half as bad as publicised.

7. What is your dream job?

Train driver.

8. Is Anton your sex slave?

He's mine.

9. What year have you became a glory hunter?

English mother fucker. Do you speak it? United since birth, after my father.

10. Best porn scenario?

Rusty Trombone.

11. Does your family think you are carrying a baby?

No. Because I'm male.

 

 

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6 hours ago, StanLCFC said:

Would you wash and wax your car if you lived in Scotland?

Yes, although I'd be prepared for rain.

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4 hours ago, ATL said:

Have you ever been balls deep in a squealing hog while firing a shotgun into the sky?

 

Only once. She was called Hilda.

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What members would you like like to have a pint with?

 

Did you ever think you'd still be using Internet forums?

 

Favourite band?

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Why is Pogba so good?

Who is better at dabbing? Pogba or Lingard?

Why does Messi play for free?

Right now who is your favourite player at the club?

Favourite food and drink?

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How do you feel about Ibrahimovics performances this season? What were your expectations of him?

 

What are your hobbies?

 

What is your least favorite place you have ever been to?

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14 hours ago, Anton said:

What members would you like like to have a pint with?

You babe. I've met up with Dan and James, need to meet up with Jay, Nick, Stan and Rab and Dan2 (Cark). I'd have a pint with anyone to be fair.

Did you ever think you'd still be using Internet forums?

I joined the forum sat in a gym back in 2007. Never in life would I have thought I'd still be posting today. 

Favourite band?

Probably don't have a favourite band so to speak as I'm more into club music, hard house, trance etc.

 

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11 hours ago, Fusion said:

Why is Pogba so good?

Fuck off.

Who is better at dabbing? Pogba or Lingard?

Fuck off.

Why does Messi play for free?

Love of the game mate. Heard he donates his tax to charity as well.

Right now who is your favourite player at the club?

Rojo. Only one that seems to put any effort in. Riles up other fans as well. Always a bonus.

Favourite food and drink?

Not together obvs. Lasagne and Jack Daniels Honey.

 

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5 hours ago, Tanksie said:

How do you feel about Ibrahimovics performances this season? What were your expectations of him?

I'll be the first to hold my hands up and admit I thought he'd be a complete flop. He holds the ball up well and makes decent movements, not runs so to speak (Blackburn goal as a prime example). He gets in using his tactical nouse and experience as his pace is onviously severly lacking now. Overall for free, it's been great and I hope he has another season with us.

What are your hobbies?

I like playing football and golf. I wish I had a more interesting 'hobby' so would always take suggestions!

What is your least favorite place you have ever been to?

Probably London. Absolutely hate the place. Nobody has time for anyone.

 

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Do you overcompensate for being bald and English by being a twat?

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2 minutes ago, Spike said:

Do you overcompensate for being bald and English by being a twat?

Massive twat. Get it right for fucks sake.

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Just now, DeadLinesman said:

Massive twat. Get it right for fucks sake.

In the States they do it by owning a huge truck/lorry and not using it for anything than driving down to the store for groceries. How do you communicate with the world you are a massive twat?

 

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1 minute ago, Spike said:

In the States they do it by owning a huge truck/lorry and not using it for anything than driving down to the store for groceries. How do you communicate with the world you are a massive twat?

 

I swear. A lot. I like to post football related posts on forums as well. And for anyone that knows me personally, Facebook arguments are a must.

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Just now, DeadLinesman said:

I swear. A lot. I like to post football related posts on forums as well. And for anyone that knows me personally, Facebook arguments are a must.

I think we have the same sad lives. 

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