Dr. Gonzo Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 3 hours ago, Vader said: In the shower today I began wondering - and I'm probably the only one. Do any of you feel lonely but then around people you want to be by yourselves? It's a huge conflicting case within me at the moment that I'm trying to get around. Especially around women. Bad experiences of the past have really gotten to me and now it's hard to get past it, so while there's plenty of people who care for me, I just feel anti-social and nothing to do with them after chatting for about an hour. Part of the reason I don't want to get married. I'd rather be a free man. I may feel lonely from time to time, but for the long term I think being alone suits me better. Besides, I don't really trust anyone else. Especially as a traveller, to have the freedom always to go around where you want is a great feeling. Sometimes I feel like an introvert the way you're describing. Sometimes I don't. Although in my perspective it's a bit different because I'm married now and before that I'd been living with her while she was my fiancé for 5 years before I got married. But I feel like I've certainly had an interesting relationship with the balance of loneliness vs. preferring to not be around people, even though I'm a fairly social person. And it got worse when I went to uni and left home. I think it was most particularly bad when I left the UK - which makes sense because I'd left behind my family and friends I'd known my whole life, and it was just to a different part of our little island like the first time I'd moved out of the house I'd lived in my whole life. And while the internet's made things easy to keep in touch and regularly communicate with the people I care about from back home... there's still a feeling of loneliness that exists when you know it's not so easy to just go back and see everyone whenever you'd want to. And there's a feeling of constant loneliness being somewhere that feels so different to where you're from and with people who are so different to the people you grew up around. AND THAT'S JUST THE UK TO THE US - I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT'D HAVE BEEN LIKE IF I'D MOVED TO SOMEWHERE LIKE CHINA. But for me, I need a balance. My family, the ones I'm related to by blood and my wife, and my friends - the ones I've had all my life, and the ones I've made since I made my big move, and the few close friends I made at uni - but there's also time where I need to be alone and just do my own thing. And that's also for my sanity. So I don't know if that's weird or not - because I am happy I've got a pretty active social life, and I'm also happy when I do get time just to myself to do whatever the fuck I want to do. And when I've got that balance just right, that's usually when I'm feeling most happy in my life. It's good when that balance is perfect, so Thanos was definitely onto something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeadLinesman Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 I’m a social creature and have always preferred company, but only those select few who know me. I hate going out ‘partying’ now and genuinely prefer a cup of coffee and a film. There’s the odd lads night we have every few months with poker and booze, but it 6/8 close mates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Tommy Posted January 30, 2020 Moderator Share Posted January 30, 2020 6 minutes ago, Dr. Gonzo said: with the balance of loneliness vs. preferring to not be around people This is the way! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Gonzo Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 3 minutes ago, Tommy said: This is the way! This is the way! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeadLinesman Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 Get a room ffs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Artful Dodger Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 5 hours ago, Vader said: In the shower today I began wondering - and I'm probably the only one. Do any of you feel lonely but then around people you want to be by yourselves? It's a huge conflicting case within me at the moment that I'm trying to get around. Especially around women. Bad experiences of the past have really gotten to me and now it's hard to get past it, so while there's plenty of people who care for me, I just feel anti-social and nothing to do with them after chatting for about an hour. Part of the reason I don't want to get married. I'd rather be a free man. I may feel lonely from time to time, but for the long term I think being alone suits me better. Besides, I don't really trust anyone else. Especially as a traveller, to have the freedom always to go around where you want is a great feeling. Entirely natural, who wouldn't want to be alone in this world? Human beings are nearly all absolute insufferable bellends not worth a second of your time and totally incapable of interesting conversation. The guilt you feel is entirely illogical, rid yourself of it and be genuinely happy. I am fairly lucky in that I've met some decent people but I steadfastly refuse to entertain making any more friends, it's just not worth the hassle of finding out someone likes Top Gear, Jason Manford or says 'dude' or 'Awesome'. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber RandoEFC+ Posted January 30, 2020 Subscriber Share Posted January 30, 2020 I am an introvert but I also enjoy socialising. I think it's alright to have times in your life where you enjoy your own company more than that of other people. I'm going through one of those phases right now where work is taking up a whole lot of my energy and most evenings I'm content to sit and watch Netflix and do whatever little jobs need doing without really speaking to anyone. I do get lonely though if I let my life get taken over by that urge. I'm lucky enough to have quite a lot of friends, including family, from different groups despite not being particularly outgoing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toinho Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 @Vader I get you. I’m a mix between loving time by myself and doing nothing or speaking to hardly anyone but then I can be quite social too (less and less these days though - it’s just getting harder). I used to get that feeling of after a while of hanging out with someone, whether it be a partner or some mates, there was usually a feeling of “I can’t wait to be by myself”. I’ve lived alone for many years now so it could stem from that. However, I can’t recall ever having that feeling with my current partner. You may meet someone where it changes those feelings. Although, we do not live with each other on a full time basis. But neither did I with my previous examples. Anyway, you’re normal in this regard 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mpache Posted February 2, 2020 Share Posted February 2, 2020 So I have to go to Lima in about 3 weeks to meet the team in which I'm scouting at and to get a presentation and all, and nobody in my family wants to host me. Back then they had no problem at all, but for some reason they are unwilling. It's not that they have anything going on, it's just that they don't want me meaning that I will likely have to spend double if I want to go to Peru now thanks to an expensive hotel. God I hate people, they are such insufferable bellends. I'm not gonna do a favour to anyone ever again because they never pay it back. They just let me down and take advantage of me. I hosted my cousin a few weeks ago when he visited me in Canada and now they don't want to return the favour. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Stan Posted February 2, 2020 Administrator Share Posted February 2, 2020 @Vader how do you know they have nothing going on? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mpache Posted February 2, 2020 Share Posted February 2, 2020 (edited) 5 minutes ago, Stan said: @Vader how do you know they have nothing going on? Because I know them well. Basically we got into a fight 2 years ago, I apologized long ago and everything was cool, but was it really? They haven't been the same since. It's a "live with the consequence" type of situation, but they need to have some fucking empathy. Their son (my cousin) is basically my best friend and we talk most days. We hosted him here a month ago and they aren't returning me the favour. As an estimate, I will have to spend 150 (estimated) a night for 29 days if I don't find a place in Peru, which is home. I can't stay with my grandmother because she is too old and could very terminally ill at worst. Embarrassing. Edited February 2, 2020 by Vader Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mpache Posted February 2, 2020 Share Posted February 2, 2020 Fuck me, this actually makes me so mad. I am tired of arrogance. With every time I'm mistreated for fuck all, I feel a more vile person. If I win the lottery one day, I'm cutting ties with everyone in my family except my parents as I cba with the rest. They won't be getting an ounce of importance from me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber CaaC (John)+ Posted February 2, 2020 Subscriber Share Posted February 2, 2020 Mind-blowing photos of the unseen side of things We often go through life with a surface-level acceptance of objects, landmarks, and animals, taking them at face value and moving on. But never underestimate the difference a change of angle can make! Click through to see some fascinating photos that will make you re-imagine your reality. SLIDES - 1/31 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Tommy Posted February 2, 2020 Moderator Share Posted February 2, 2020 On 30/01/2020 at 20:16, Dr. Gonzo said: This is the way! Relevant. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluewolf Posted February 2, 2020 Share Posted February 2, 2020 Do you ever get one of them moments where you instantly regret opening your mouth??? I am not long in from work and not even got my jacket off and was making a cuppa and casually said to the missus, "How was your day??" I then get a 20 minute ear bashing that covered everything from Spiders in the seating area outside to my daughter and boyfriend troubles... seriously wanted to put my cup down and go back to work.. Also didn't ask how my day was because she clearly doesn't give a toss.. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluewolf Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 11 Brutal Truths about being the Other Woman.... https://pairedlife.com/problems/being-a-mistress Is this true @nudge??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber Popular Post nudge+ Posted February 5, 2020 Subscriber Popular Post Share Posted February 5, 2020 41 minutes ago, Bluewolf said: 11 Brutal Truths about being the Other Woman.... https://pairedlife.com/problems/being-a-mistress Is this true @nudge??? Reminded me of this: 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber CaaC (John)+ Posted February 5, 2020 Subscriber Share Posted February 5, 2020 On 02/02/2020 at 19:59, Bluewolf said: Spiders That One of the wifes biggest fears with other creepy crawlies, when I would get in from work I would see a slipper/shoe lying in the middle of the floor and I would automatically say to myself "I bet there is a splattered spider under that...", yep lol or "There is a spider on the ceiling in the bedroom...get rid of it please", the problem would be that she saw the bloody spider when she first got out of her bed 8-9 hours ago and where the bloody hell it was now god knows!! There was once a wee spider that would crawl across our bedroom ceiling no bigger than my little fingernail I called it Henry, I got used to it and would say to the wife "There goes Henry looking for dead flys" the wife would just stare and say "as long as he does not come near me..." it was there for weeks and it was harmless, and I told her don't go hitting him with a broom it's harmless, then one day he just disappeared and never saw it again and I mentioned it to the wife and she said she had hoovered my little Henry up weeks before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber CaaC (John)+ Posted February 5, 2020 Subscriber Share Posted February 5, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mpache Posted February 7, 2020 Share Posted February 7, 2020 Having family problems with my mother now. She's been a bit of a jerk to me for a while now. Not gonna get too personal but it's been tough the last few days for me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mpache Posted February 7, 2020 Share Posted February 7, 2020 Decided to become a football historian Youtuber. First video is being edited. It's about Nolberto Solano bringing an English keeper to the Peruvian league. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Posted February 7, 2020 Share Posted February 7, 2020 1 hour ago, Vader said: Decided to become a football historian Youtuber. First video is being edited. It's about Nolberto Solano bringing an English keeper to the Peruvian league. Good stuff mate. Good skills too just mastering the youtubing side of that equation, I wouldn't have a clue where to start with that myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mpache Posted February 7, 2020 Share Posted February 7, 2020 1 minute ago, Harry said: Good stuff mate. Good skills too just mastering the youtubing side of that equation, I wouldn't have a clue where to start with that myself. My scouting job is very low pay and it's still my dream job, but I am slowly getting up the ranks. Also having family problems and don't really want to work at a grocery store. So I figured to do Youtube for a living for the time being. Want it to be a serious historian channel more than something cringy. Obviously also a bit passionate about this niche too especially being about something I like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Posted February 7, 2020 Share Posted February 7, 2020 1 minute ago, Vader said: My scouting job is very low pay and it's still my dream job, but I am slowly getting up the ranks. Also having family problems and don't really want to work at a grocery store. So I figured to do Youtube for a living for the time being. Want it to be a serious historian channel more than something cringy. Obviously also a bit passionate about this niche too especially being about something I like. You're doing it as an income stream? Good luck. Again I couldn't even fathom where to start with doing that myself. I worked at a department store through my early 20's for cash. It was decent. Good to keep the people skills sharp, and there were a couple of good co workers which made it bearable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mpache Posted February 7, 2020 Share Posted February 7, 2020 1 minute ago, Harry said: You're doing it as an income stream? Good luck. Again I couldn't even fathom where to start with doing that myself. I worked at a department store through my early 20's for cash. It was decent. Good to keep the people skills sharp, and there were a couple of good co workers which made it bearable. Kind of. I mean I have the passion to make content and tell stories. But I do have a goal in the end and that is to treat it as another job. Will take a while though, I'm aware. I have a plan to get views. Not gonna reveal full details here but one of the things is to never half-arse through editing. I'm not that kind of guy. I genuinely do have passion, but I also do need income. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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