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As a direct response to the "Cult Heroes" thread there's this. List snide players (past and present) that you'd love to see fail, there doesn't have to be a logical reason to any answer. The more players we get in here the merrier.

Ill kick off with;

Kevin Davies:

Talentless, shite footballer who's only attribute was to bully defenders and be an all round tosser. There was no skill, pace or technicality to his game just thuggish actions to everyone and anyone that went near him.

Daniel Sturridge:

Anyone that performs a celebration like that deserves AIDS and it's proof karma exists that he's always injured and therefore unable to do his moronic dance.

Lee Cattermole:

Dirty twat who's not a footballer. I'm yet to see him take control of a game or do something magic. There's a reason he's been at a shit club like Sunderland and it's evidence of how poor he is that he no longer gets a look in.

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Luis Suarez. The rat dog himself

Mario Gotze. Slimy little cunt. But did win Germany the world cup

Sergio Busquets. Need I say more

Kevin Davies. Grubbiest cunt I have ever seen play football? It's possible

Tim Cahill. Same reason as Davies. He was in the top 5 for fouls committed per game almost every season. Got injured fouling a man city player once (was hilarious) and was sent of in his last EPL game. Good times

Fabregas. Cunt prima donna. Some say Arsenal are holding him hostage to this very day.

Pepe. Dickhead one minute, in tears about what a dickhead he is the next.

Lucash Niell. Played for 10000 clubs. Sucked balls at every one of them.

Neymar. Vile little vagina.

Joleon Lescott. Put your head away for fuck sake, there are kids about.

Pogba. Dabbers will be castrated on sight.

John Terry. Grubby cunt personally oversaw the sacking of half a dozen managers in his time.

Steven Gerrard. The one club legend that tried to jump ship to Chelsea twice (even succeeded once for 10 minutes) Trying to hold the club you 'love' to ransom you grub.

Alex Morgan. Refuses to suck me off, what a bitch.

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20 minutes ago, Tanksie said:

Luis Suarez. The rat dog himself

This guy is proof that evolution is gradual process, he is as smart as a wet fart. I get angry at him sometimes, for example when he dives, but he's so pathetic that i have to feel sorry for him immediately. I can't really hate this non-human.

Didn't you forget Aaron Cunt?

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Mauro Icardi. Utter twat. Quite literally cheated former Sampdoria teammate Maxi Lopez by having an affair with his wife, took custody of his children and acted like an absolute dick about it. I think he's an overrated footballer and a genuine prick from what I've seen and heard.

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24 minutes ago, Cannabis said:

Didn't he threaten his own fans in his autobiography too? xD. Seems like a good goal scorer but all round bellend.

He did. Another Sampdoria and Inter player, Antonio Cassano, said a few years back that he was against gay players entering the Italian National Team. What an arrogant prick. Whatever a person's sexuality it doesn't affect their ability to play football and shouldn't even be considered when picking players.

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Roy Keane  - I bet he cribs in his sleeps instead of snoring.

David Beckham - Decent player who marketed himself (and continues too -- see the recent knighthood controversy) brilliantly, which was cringe inducing. 

Duncan Ferguson - I hated him, when he played for Everton. The only player that I have ever wished to see getting horribly injured on the field.

Fellaini - For his elbows.

El Hadji Diouf  - The worst player to ever wear the red shirt.

Hope Solo - Vile Human being, and also because she ruined the Fappening for me. Her leaks were more frightening than the scariest horror movie. 

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  • The title was changed to Nile Ranger Released From Jail Early


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