Dating, Relationships and Marriage Thread

[Azeem]

10 minutes ago, MUFC said:

I reckon he'll go deep on their wedding night.

That's the tradition to consummate the marriage

[Stan]

1 hour ago, Tommy said:

Meh. Not being able to spell Hi correctly is an immediate dealbreaker. 

Or maybe show the face and not hide it behind the phone as a picture

 

[Viva la FCB+]

On 29/01/2022 at 00:20, Devil-Dick Willie said:

Pretty close to moving out of my current share house, where my GF also lives. Her bi polar is an enormous challenge in our relationship and it's gotten worse over the 9 months we've been together. 

I feel like theres a story here. Sorry to hear that though man hopefully you can work through it and it gets better.

[Toinho]

On 01/02/2022 at 22:18, MUFC said:

I reckon he'll go deep on their wedding night.

Statistically speaking he won’t 

[Harry]

On 29/01/2022 at 19:20, Devil-Dick Willie said:

Pretty close to moving out of my current share house, where my GF also lives. Her bi polar is an enormous challenge in our relationship and it's gotten worse over the 9 months we've been together. 

Hope you can work through itand find the best solution mate

[Devil-Dick Willie]

A very old flame just messaged, and the bet I could do was "it wasn't destined to be" I'm sad now. fellas, the lesson is that having great sex with a girl is like feeding a stray cat. They keep fucking hassling you. 

[Inverted]

Booked my first couple's trip abroad with my GF in April - Firenze for 5 days.

I've done trips in the UK before with her, and also with an ex previously - road trips, hiking weekends, London city breaks - but it feels like this is my first proper holiday as a couple. 

Feels much needed right now, as I eat my lunch at my home desk and look out at the mud and snow.

[carefreeluke]

I know it purely depends but for those in relationships, how long were you seeing each other before it became official?

[Stan]

10 hours ago, carefreeluke said:

I know it purely depends but for those in relationships, how long were you seeing each other before it became official?

Think it was a couple months for us. 

[MUFC]

18 hours ago, carefreeluke said:

I know it purely depends but for those in relationships, how long were you seeing each other before it became official?

As in when you tell everyone or you both think now it's serious?

[Guest]

Well I had the dreaded friend zone again. Met this girl did really like her but she wants to be friends only

[Waylander]

41 minutes ago, Gunnersauraus said:

Well I had the dreaded friend zone again. Met this girl did really like her but she wants to be friends only

Perhaps join a social club, I used to go a social club where you had speakers and tea and biscuits after, got a couple that wanted to go out with me. Not my type though noticed much more luck than down the pub.

In reading about things was advised if you go somewhere that interests you (and not too male orientated) more likely to happen.

 

[Inverted]

23 hours ago, carefreeluke said:

I know it purely depends but for those in relationships, how long were you seeing each other before it became official?

I've been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years now,, and we took it very slowly. We were kinda casual for a like 4 or 5 months before we clarified that we weren't seeing anyone else. 

I don't think we said we loved each other until like a year. 

[Devil-Dick Willie]

I'm monogamous for the entirety of anything even approaching a relationship. I've only said I love you to one girlfriend, and it was after about 8-12 weeks, but the fact we were living together definitely sped that shit up. 

[Toinho]

1 hour ago, Devil-Dick Willie said:

I'm monogamous for the entirety of anything even approaching a relationship. I've only said I love you to one girlfriend, and it was after about 8-12 weeks, but the fact we were living together definitely sped that shit up. 

Yeah I’ve generally been the same with the monogamy thing. If I’m early days dating someone then my energy is into that and that only. I did go against that once or twice in a past life. 
 

As for my current relationship we made things official fairly quickly which was a surprise to me haha 

[Inverted]

18 hours ago, Devil-Dick Willie said:

I'm monogamous for the entirety of anything even approaching a relationship. I've only said I love you to one girlfriend, and it was after about 8-12 weeks, but the fact we were living together definitely sped that shit up. 

I think in hindsight it was mostly me being skittish and non-committal. I am sure she would have been very eager to clarify things sooner if I had prompted it, which I regret not doing. I met her within a couple of months of coming out of my first long-term relationship and I think I kinda shut-down any talk of "what are we" for the first few months. 

Ironically, we saw each other pretty much every week, and besides me going on a couple of dates within the first month after I saw her, that led nowhere, in practise we were monogamous. The only difference was me basically not wanting to acknowledge it explicitly, and her probably being scared to ask for fear of spooking me off.

But the plus side was that her willing to play it slow has made me much more comfortable with staying with her for this long, and even with imagining what the next few years could be like together. 

[Rick]

At this point it feels like life is actively fucking me in the arse. Three, nearly four years ago I met a woman called Maria. She came into my place of work, and I did that unprofessional thing of contacting her on Facebook (we ‘hit’ it off really well in my place of work, she had to come in three times to sort the same thing) well, we ended up getting along really well. At that point, it was sort of borderline between a friendship and something more. 

 

She had told me about her ex, and how he had done some pretty bad things during their relationship. No violence, but emotional abuse was there and it turned out that he was addicted to painkillers and drinking lots. It came to a point where I finally decided to tell her the feelings I had for her, but before I could she told me that she was giving that knob another chance. He had been to counselling, was clean and had a steady job in the months they were apart. I was gutted, but I can’t hold it against her because I never revealed my feelings, it was just one of those shit things. 

 

Anyways, we didn’t speak a whole lot for a few months until she came back into my life in February. She said she had kicked him out of her house and he was never getting back in again. He had stolen from her and her kids to feed this drug and drink issue so she told him to do one, finally. 

So we started to talk and it came to the point where one late night she told me that she had feeling from me from the start but it never seemed a good time to admit them to me. She told me that I was in her mind throughout her relationship, even to the point where if the ex said or did something shit, she would think “rick would never do that” to herself and she put herself in all these scenarios where we were together. 

 

Obviously, this was all music to my ears and I told her I had the same feelings and have done so for over three years. We decided to take things slowly, just meeting up when we were free and seeing how it went. Well, the feelings on both sides have only grown stronger and I can genuinely say that I would happily spend my life with this woman. I’ve known her three years and loved her as friend before this bloomed. She has been struggling in the last couple of months. Having a new job, being a mother to two kids and having to run a house on limited funds when bills are rising has all been an appetite for a low mood to really set in. We have only met up three times since we made this agreement and that’s 6 weeks ago. 

 

I spoke to her the other night, asking her for my sake to tell me if she is going to be able to ‘fit’ me into her life and she was honest with me saying that there’s nothing she wants more, but she’s just absolutely worn out right now and is struggling to keep things together. She told me she is in love with me, and I told her the same. This girl is genuine, this isn’t a power play to keep me hanging on. She told me that she wants a future with me, and that she imagines it all the time but right now she can’t give me anymore than she has because of all these issues. I told her that I have absolute no interest in dating, that I won’t be looking to go elsewhere. She said that I shouldn’t put my life on hold for her even though she wants to tell me to do that. It could be three months, it could be 9 months, it could be over a year…how do you put a timeline on what she is dealing with? I told her to not look at it as me “waiting for her” but as me focusing on myself. Told her to just promise me two things in the meantime; 1. Tell me right away when she is ‘ready’ and 2. Tell me if anybody else comes along. She told me that there won’t be anybody else, that she only wants me. 

 

Don’t really know if I want advice or if this is just letting it out. I’m properly heartbroken right now even though I’m putting a strong face on for her sake. I don’t want her feeling shitter than she already does about it all. Life is fucking shit at times. Woman of my dreams I can finally be with, yet I can’t. 

[CaaC (John)+]

1 hour ago, Rick said:

Don’t really know if I want advice or if this is just letting it out. I’m properly heartbroken right now even though I’m putting a strong face on for her sake. I don’t want her feeling shitter than she already does about it all. Life is fucking shit at times. Woman of my dreams I can finally be with, yet I can’t. 

Best of luck, @Rick, and I hope in the long run things work out ok for you and the lady, all I can say is me and the wife will be together for 48 years come December, we have had our ups & downs, heartaches throughout those long years but we are still here plodding along.

If you manage to sort it out with the young lady I hope you can carry on from there and be happy like me and the wife are after 47 years together. 

[Rick]

14 minutes ago, CaaC (John) said:

Best of luck, @Rick, and I hope in the long run things work out ok for you and the lady, all I can say is me and the wife will be together for 48 years come December, we have had our ups & downs, heartaches throughout those long years but we are still here plodding along.

If you manage to sort it out with the young lady I hope you can carry on from there and be happy like me and the wife are after 47 years together. 

Thanks a lot John, I really appreciate the kind words. Hopefully further down the road things work out. Here’s to many more years of happiness for you and yours as well. 

[DeadLinesman]

@Rick 

I was in a similar situation just before I met my Mrs. There was a girl who had been in and out of my life for almost 4 years. We were always either seeing other people or the timing ‘wasn’t right’. 
 

Well I eventually met the Mrs and a month or two later, the girl wanted me. Strange how things work out. 

For the sake of yourself, don’t cut off other relationships. As much as you might think she’s the one, you might also miss ‘THE ONE’ because you were too busy closing yourself off. It’s great that you want to wait, but this could seriously never happen. You get one shot at life. Live it.

[Rick]

@DeadLinesman 

Thanks for the advice man. What you say does make a lot of sense, I guess I’m just in the mind frame that I’ve no interest in pursuing anybody as of this moment. I’ve been single a year, and was in no rush to change that before she came back into my life. 
 

When I mentioned life being shit at times, I just want to repeat that. She contacted me before after a few hours of silence, she was in tears. Her poor wee cat has been hit by a car and died. She’s quite obviously devastated.  

[Tommy]

3 minutes ago, Rick said:

@DeadLinesman 

Thanks for the advice man. What you say does make a lot of sense, I guess I’m just in the mind frame that I’ve no interest in pursuing anybody as of this moment. I’ve been single a year, and was in no rush to change that before she came back into my life. 
 

When I mentioned life being shit at times, I just want to repeat that. She contacted me before after a few hours of silence, she was in tears. Her poor wee cat has been hit by a car and died. She’s quite obviously devastated.  

What happened to that baby you were about to have?

[Reluctant Striker]

If you want any of my advice @Rick I think I would tend to agree with @DeadLinesman

I too had a rather intoxicating young woman at work. In my case the chemistry was slapping me, her & quite honestly interested onlookers around the head with a sledgehammer. It was every bit mutually impulsive. Unavoidable. It was just there. Like that lump most young guys wake up with in the morning.

The problem being she was recently engaged. I was recently with someone new. I honestly don't think it was something either of us wanted to be there. But it just was. Like some kind of EastEnders storyline phase of my life. Suffice to say her leaving day from work was an emotionally charged drama. For more than 2 people. 

I ended up moving onto a 3rd option. Not sure what happened with the work one. And not something I think of. Except perhaps when I hear talk of work romances, work partners, or stories like yours it seems.

For sure, if something happens with your work encounter, great. But it does feel best not to dwell if things aren't actually happening.

[Devil-Dick Willie]

I agree with deadlineboobie also. 


I had a nasty break up from my live in GF about 2 months ago now. I used to be really assertive and independent. Now that relationship has beaten some of the confidence and assertiveness out of me, and I really want another relationship. My independent side has been shattered it seems. I'd been having some casual sex recently but it's just not doing anything for me.  

[Rick]

3 hours ago, Tommy said:

What happened to that baby you were about to have?

She broke up with me & decided she didn’t want to have the baby. I hate that woman with all my being after what she put me through at the end. 
 

@Reluctant Striker Thank you for your advice. Like I said to Phil, I’m just going to focus on something other than a relationship. See, where I end up in the next few months. 
 

@Devil-Dick Willie I know how shit that is to feel. Had similar effects myself, just hangs over you.