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Batard

Santa Blaus Crimbo Presents

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Ho ho fucking ho ... have you been good this year? Who gives a fuck. What would you like to nominate someone else receives as a present on this forum that they get to unwrap - so to speak - over the Christmas period on this here very forum. 

I Santa Blaus, or just call me Father Bastard will do the honors and deliver your kind and thoughtful gifts ... or amusing piss take presents.

Maybe @Any O'Brien would like a signed picture of “Here’s to ruining your 2018 and your club” by Mike Ashley? 

Maybe @Dan would like that ticket money back with a note from his friend saying “Story I’m a useless shite who doesn’t respect others”?

Maybe @Tsubasa would just love to spend Christmas day carving turkey with @BartraPique1932

Or even ... and this is the last one I promise ... maybe @Salford Kel would like the book “Why I love Islam .:.. and death to the snowflake infidels”

I need your requests, either here or by PM by Saturday the 22nd December 

 

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I would like to give @Any O'Brien a box full of these

SENIOR_ADULT_DIAPER.jpg

Along with a new shiny, electric wheelchair, happy Christmas mate!

 

 

 

 

I'd also like to get @Blue one of these

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And lastly but not less important, a must for my hijito @Teso dos Bichos here you go mijo, enjoy it

51QWit9XGxL._SY445_QL70_.jpg

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I would get @nudge a ticket for this... 

Hate Christmas? You can now smash up festive decorations for fun

 

Hate Christmas? You can now smash up festive decorations for fun

Not everyone finds themselves getting into the Christmas spirit. For some, the crowds swarming the shops are unbearable. The Christmas music irritating – and don’t even talk to them about the bits of tinsel that go absolutely everywhere and get stuck in the rug. In fact, some people wish Christmas to be over before it’s even begun. But sadly, there’s no escaping it – which means there’s no escaping the rage it fills you with. However, you can minimise that rage – thanks to a new Christmas Rage Room that allows you to smash up as many Christmas decorations as you like, without any consequence. Ruldoph’s Rage Room is happening across secret locations in London. It’s basically a room that’ll give you peace knowing that you can get all of the frustration Christmas fills you with out of your system. So, how does it work? Well, guests attending the event will first be welcomed with a glass of prosecco. Then you’ll be asked to change into a red jumpsuit and a hard hat before being armed with a baseball bat so that you can set out your rage on a range of Christmas-related paraphernalia including trees, baubles, dancing Santa’s hats and more. And the best bit? You get to do it all to your Christmas soundtrack of your choice. We’re guessing ‘Here comes Santa Claus’ will be a big hit. After letting out all of your Christmas angst, you’ll then be able to relax with a drink at a popup bar – though according to the event description, this’ll take place in a ‘festive atmosphere’ – which almost totally defeats the object. The whole event will cost you £18, which includes prosecco, a session in Rudolph’s Rage Room, and entry to the popup bar.

I do doubt however that there would be enough Alcohol content in Prosecco alone to drown out the sound of George Michael's  'Last Christmas' blasting out on the radio

 

 

 

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8 minutes ago, Tanksie said:

 

Nice idea, wrong target. I hate the Australian cricket team. Always have. Never back them against anyone.

Reported to the staff.

- Spike

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2 hours ago, Anton said:

Already got it 😂

200.webp#18-grid1

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Well well we’ll, it’s only fucking Christmas Day! Happy Christmas people 

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