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Rui Patricio's Wife Urges Portugal to Masturbate Prior to Each Match


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Posted

wtf

I was always told not to have a go before a game because your body becomes too relaxed. His wife is a proper weirdo.

Posted
3 minutes ago, Cannabis said:

His wife is a certified sexual health expert so she probably knows what she's talking about. 

Being healthy sexually isn't the same as preparing for a football match though is it?

I'm now convinced that Rui Patricio wanks before every match though. Wouldn't want to shake his hands if he hasn't got the gloves on. Unless he wears the gloves while wanking.... to make them more sticky? Either way, this is one of the better World Cup headlines we're going to see.

Posted
11 minutes ago, Stan said:

wtf

I was always told not to have a go before a game because your body becomes too relaxed. His wife is a proper weirdo.

I'm guessing this was told to you by a Portuguese woman as well ?

Posted
3 minutes ago, ...Dan said:

The whole country or just the players?

I understood it as the whole country which is why she's so wonderful.

Posted
6 hours ago, Cicero said:

None of you had a tactical wank before? 

I'm sorry i had to literally stop what i was doing..... "A Tactical.... wank" 

Posted
1 hour ago, Dickie said:

I'm sorry i had to literally stop what i was doing..... "A Tactical.... wank" 

It is kind of like as a pubescent discovering the boner-elastic-waistband trick.

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Posted
6 hours ago, Lucas said:

To be fair, I am 110% certain Ronaldo looks in the mirror and wanks over himself.

If he could stick his own cock in his ass he would.

why try when there's @Panna King to help out?

Posted

Not to get all technical, but wanking is actually a good idea. It keeps the testosterone levels UP. Not wanking gives your body the impression that you don't need so much testosterone as you ain't spreading your seed about. So get wanking boys, it'll help.

Posted

This used to be an old Soviet Trick. During the World Chess Championships, the Russians would order hookers for Taimanov, Petrosian, and Spassky. 

Posted
On 07/06/2018 at 20:51, Viva la FCB said:

Imagine your work output if you applied this theory every morning!

I do and mine is still shit

  • The title was changed to Rui Patricio's Wife Urges Portugal to Masturbate Prior to Each Match
Posted
4 minutes ago, 6666 said:

Gonna say something controversial here... It has no relevance on how well you play.

Probably depends on when the last time the player in question ejaculated was and how horny they are.

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