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Do you avoid conflict?


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Some people seem to love conflict. Others avoid it. Personally I try to avoid it. Even on the internet I don't like to argue. Probably avoid it to much at times and probably don't stick up for myself enough at times. So what are you like with conflict? Do you avoid it? Do you like it? Or you just argue when necessary?

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I avoid it where possible. 

Gotta keep my head when it comes to my job and in general I'm just a really laid back person. Takes a lot to anger me or get me riled up to the point where I'll retaliate or get involved in conflict. 

Total contrast to how I was as a kid - very short fuse, temperamental and argumentative, over the pettiest things at the least. 

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I am too old for conflict nowadays but when I was younger and fitter I would face up to any conflict that came my way and deal with it, I bought my kids up by saying walking away from conflict is far better than dealing with it but if someone lashed out first then retaliate. 

I remember our son saying to me when he was 14 and at high-school down in England where I had got a job "Pops...I smacked [punched] a laddie at school today", I asked him what was it all about and he said "He was calling me names and trying to get me to fight him but I remember what you told me, that you are more of a man if you turn around and walk away unless the person hit out first...well I did walk away but he came up behind me, and hit me on the back of the head and called me a Scottish bastard so I turned around and punched him to the ground", all I said was "that's ok then, you did not start the trouble first".

The funny thing about that incident was my son and the laddie he punched became best of friends and still contact each other today and he even came up to our son's wedding 10 years ago, I called that incident in my son's life learning the lessons of life in growing up when you are young, I have been through all that when I was a kid.

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3 hours ago, The Artful Dodger said:

No, I'm fairly belligerent but would like to be less so. Just nearly everyone and everything irritates me in some way.

Its funny you don't come across like that on here at all:ph34r:

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I'm very laid back, pretty much horizontal so as a result don't really get into conflict.

I do stand up for myself though so on the rare occasion that I am pushed and pushed there will be a reaction. I can't remember the last time I went absolutely "on one" though. 

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Avoid it because a lot of the time, what truly is the point? What am I going to achieve? I'd rather not sour relationships over petty shit.

Although when you've crossed a line I'll produce conflict that likely means we don't talk again.

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13 hours ago, Stan said:

I avoid it where possible. 

Gotta keep my head when it comes to my job and in general I'm just a really laid back person. Takes a lot to anger me or get me riled up to the point where I'll retaliate or get involved in conflict. 

Total contrast to how I was as a kid - very short fuse, temperamental and argumentative, over the pettiest things at the least. 

Sounds about right, when younger you are also much braver. As you get older, you either grow out of it, generally just mature or have much more to lose which helps you to walk away.

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On ‎21‎/‎02‎/‎2019 at 00:16, Large said:

Completely depends on the situation. I’ll avoid it if I don’t think a specific issue will benefit from it, but not because I don’t like to be involved in conflict. I actually enjoy it sometimes.

This.

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On 21/02/2019 at 08:16, Large said:

Completely depends on the situation. I’ll avoid it if I don’t think a specific issue will benefit from it, but not because I don’t like to be involved in conflict. I actually enjoy it sometimes.

Totally depends on what people consider to be conflict? As you say if no good will come of it then don't bother but you can also have a healthy conflict in the work place for example where I might 'challenge' another persons view on something and that could be considered by them as conflict... I am not keen on people who just throw random stuff in to the mix with no justification or reasoning behind it so I am more than happy to challenge that thought process if I think someone is just looking for a quick fix or is just being plain stupid or lazy... 

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19 hours ago, Bluewolf said:

Totally depends on what people consider to be conflict? As you say if no good will come of it then don't bother but you can also have a healthy conflict in the work place for example where I might 'challenge' another persons view on something and that could be considered by them as conflict... I am not keen on people who just throw random stuff in to the mix with no justification or reasoning behind it so I am more than happy to challenge that thought process if I think someone is just looking for a quick fix or is just being plain stupid or lazy... 

Sometimes you’ve got to stand up for yourself if a mechanic is overcharging and you know they’re overcharging. Sometimes you’ve got to let a friend know they’re about to do something incredibly fucking stupid. Sometimes you have to “challenge” those opinions at work as you said.

I think that’s all conflict that’s worth the effort because it’s got purpose behind it.

Pointless drama is just starting shit for the sake of starting shit and reveling in the ensuing drama. Some people love that. Those people are usually dickheads though

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It depends what you mean by conflict really. I think it's more a case of 'pick your battles' as you get older because who wants to be constantly rowing or bickering over trivialities? But on the other hand, it's very important to have self respect, to stand up for yourself and your loved ones and to stick to your prinicples. 

There are plenty of things worth getting into conflict over but a lot more that really aren't

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16 hours ago, Salford Kel said:

It depends what you mean by conflict really. I think it's more a case of 'pick your battles' as you get older because who wants to be constantly rowing or bickering over trivialities? But on the other hand, it's very important to have self respect, to stand up for yourself and your loved ones and to stick to your prinicples. 

There are plenty of things worth getting into conflict over but a lot more that really aren't

Overall you do seem to be much less confrontational than you use to be?

 

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